Romancing for money

Sex with Mark Jennings was never fun.

Translation: 'This really isn't a good wine...'

Guest appearance!

Never disappointing. Sexy Steven holding a big white t-t-telephone.

Be careful!

She's looking mad. And holding a knife.

Mix and match

Matching fur and matching jooree: the perfect mix. Cheers to that.

If we took a holiday...

Take some time to negotiate...
It would be-ee
It would be so nice!

If looks could kill...

EVERYBODY would be dead, by now!

Call me!

'Call me call me any anytime
Call me for a ride
Call me call me for some overtime
Call me in my life
Call me call me in a sweet design
Call me call me for your lover's lover's alibi
Call me on the line
Call me call me any anytime
Call me
Oh, call me, ooh ooh ah.
Call me my love.
Call me, call me any anytime'

Feeling blue?

Translation: 'Please understand what I have to go through....'

Guest appearance!

Sammy Jo meets Adam. What's happening in those shorts?

There will be a day...

...that they will be giving away fur coats in hell! (translation).

Crash! Boom! Bang!

Dex throws Alexis on the floor because she's cheated on him. Not after some face scratching by Alexis, of course.

Gettin' your hair did AND getting' your feet did...

While doing some business on the T-T-Telephone!

Never drink a Martini...

... before eating the olive, first!



Here's to that!

What's Alexis' dog having for breakfast?

Caviar, of course!

Guest Appearance!

'Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?' Alexiscolby.com proudly presents the adorably bulging Miles Colby.

Slut

Translation: "In Hongkong, you called me a slut."

Terrible echo's

After having some drinks with gay son Steven, Alexis decides it's time for some nose powdering.



Suddenly, lovely Krystle enters the room.



Translation: 'Can you keep your voice down, Krystle. There's a terrible echo in he-yare.'

Eat that, bitch!

The effect of eating asparagus on the eater's urine has long been observed:

"[Asparagus] cause a filthy and disagreeable smell in the urine, as every Body knows." (Treatise of All Sorts of Foods, Louis Lemery, 1702)[33]
"asparagus... affects the urine with a foetid smell (especially if cut when they are white) and therefore have been suspected by some physicians as not friendly to the kidneys; when they are older, and begin to ramify, they lose this quality; but then they are not so agreeable." ("An Essay Concerning the Nature of Aliments," John Arbuthnot, 1735)[34]
"A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour..." ("Letter to the Royal Academy of Brussels," Benjamin Franklin, c. 1781)[35]
Asparagus "...transforms my chamber-pot into a flask of perfume." Marcel Proust (1871–1922) [36]

There is debate about whether all (or only some) people produce the smell, and whether all (or only some) people identify the smell. It was originally thought this was because some of the population digested asparagus differently from others, so some people excreted odorous urine after eating asparagus, and others did not. In the 1980s three studies from France,[37] China and Israel published results showing that producing odorous urine from asparagus was a universal human characteristic (if not one that pertains to human beings essentially).

Those were the days...

... when tv's were just a part of your bookshelf.

Caviar

Translation: "Dig a little deeper, darling. We also have caviar."

New York

Time for snackles!

Translation: "Would you like a chocolate strawberry?"

I can see clearly now

By the way, what's growing out of that glass?

Bitch alert!

Translation: 'To humiliate you, Krystle, is so easy. And always such a pleasure.'

Dance with the devil

With my mind on the money and the money on my mind.

How to make an entrance?

That's a ridiculous question. Just wear fur!

Just another manic monday

Six o'clock already, I was just in the middle of a drink...

Guest appearance!

Gym class heroes Fallon and Steven.



I'm not sure if this clumsy workout really works.



Steven doesn't even sweat!

A milkshake a day...

...keeps the daughter away.

Gettin' juicy

You don't want this in your face, do you?

What are you doing here?

Lovely Krystle's not amused. Alexis certainly is.